I'm a cheater

I always have been. Not on tests or anything important like that. But usually, the overlap time with boyfriends can be a little sketchy. And I also go back with them several years after we've broken up.

I tell you this as I'm watching Heroes. And I watched it last week too. I know, I know I keep railing against it. I still believe in redemption. I still believe it's going to get better. Last week was totally worth it because I got to see Daphne (who I hated) die. Great week. Hiro got a little of his powers back, thanks to Matt Parkman's baby. Good job. No Claire, and more Angela Petrelli. There was even a little Swoosie Kurtz to just sweeten the pot.

This week there is Claire, but it's Claire and Nathan bonding as father and daughter- drinking and playing drinking games for money. Now, we're getting somewhere. Angela and Peter spend some quality time at church and together, reflecting. It's a Petrelli family reunion and everyone's not acting like the Medici family. They're actually doing a little of the bonding work necessary to bring the show back together. I have hope again.

Sylar's a shape shifter now. Scary. And working for the "bad guys". Ironic, no?

So, maybe we just needed a break. I needed to know emotionally that I could walk away from it if I needed to. It's gonna take some time for me to rebuild the trust again, but I'm listening and not automatically erasing it out of DVR.

A little about ER

I posted this comment on the Critical Condition website in reference to breaking up with a show you once loved:
My break-up with Heroes has been long and drawn out. I won’t watch, or I’ll watch during the commercials of 24, then call my little sister screaming into the phone how much I hate the show. I worked out my catharsis here, but there’s an even bigger offender on NBC.
You all know, it’s the elephant in the room: ER. I’ve broken up with this show so many times in the last 15 years that I had to give the last season a try. Every week is more painful than the last. Why introduce new characters at the end? What are they thinking? I want the helicopter that took Romano out to come back and wipe out the whole hospital.
This season they give me Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance as the pretty brown couple I want to watch but I know, I’ll never know. I won’t mourn them like I did Mark Green. I don’t care about any of these people.
And the people I did care about have randomly shown up with so weakly, it’s like seeing someone you used to love only to realize you don’t know them anymore. Hey Carol, Hey Doug. Bye Carol, Bye Doug. Oh, did you guys get married? Hey Carol what exactly do you do? Oh, I see, you can’t tell me. Oh, because the writers don’t care about me having any real closure. Oh, I see.
Every week of “television history” I’m hoping it’ll go all Hill Street Blues. Really, Neela and Ray. Give me a break. Carter has a million, billion dollars. The needing a kidney was a really wack way to reintroduce him. And Benton.
So, next week is the real last week. And I’m going to watch it, I’ve been doing it for half of my life. But in the immortal last word of Mark Green, it’s “shit”.

Spoiler Alert on RuPaul's DragRace Finale- but that was Monday, what are you waiting for?

BEBE WON!!!! BEBE WON!!!! I guess I could have put that down lower. I really didn't know what was going to happen until the end. I mean, Nina Flowers is FIERCE. And a punk rock kind of fierce that I'm always attracted to. Of course, in the last batch of challenges we had to see The Glasscock melt down. We all knew she was there for fluff.

I'd love to have a Tic-Tac lunch with Ru. That's actually all I eat too, only I wash mine down with a bottle of wine.

Love, Sex and Magic? I don't think so...by any stretch of the imagination

Today a friend of mine posted an article on Facebook asking why Justin Timberlake gets a pass to degrade black women. They were referring to his, rather Ciara's new video for a song featuring JT. There were a lot of comments to the article about how he threw Janet under a bus during "Nipplegate", but I'm on board with the commenter's who asked "why would Ciara do this?"

I know, it's a chicken/ egg question for the ages. They're performers, artists, businesses. JT is like vocal gold in a landscape riddled with weak voices and fueled more by personal scandals than talent. I totally dig that. But it is the 21st century. Maybe she should read this and she wouldn't be so quick to let some white dude, literally, yank her chain. Wasn't she the dancing queen a few years ago when she was part of Missy's crew?

I've gone on and on about black female sexuality and film, so all I can say right now is: Really?

Is this really a video today? Are we so willfully ignorant about our own history that we find this acceptable? I'm sick of blaming other people for our own lack of love and respect for ourselves. It's a tired Civil Rights movement mentality. This young woman was told the concept and performed the video. She's the one crawling all over this man (white or black) apparently desperate for his attention that only her body and sex can get her. Her "lyrics" are equally as needy and a plea for him to fall in love with her while having sex with her. I guess that's the part that really disgusts me. A whole generation of young (and not so youthful) women believing that having "mad skills" in the bed will make a man "fall in love". (Whatever that means to them.)

The theory is that all these gyrations are the thing that will build a lasting loving relationship. Having been on both that young once and the older cynic that I am now, it's depressing. It's depressing because I have all these words for it, but it incites in me such a visceral reaction I just start yelling "stop acting like a slut, you're fucking it up for all of us!!!!" And even if I said that, I'd be shouting at the wind. How can I tell these girls that shaking your booty to the detriment of your mind and self worth won't get you love? Every other piece of media tells them the exact opposite.

They don't want to sit around reading stuffy Sterling Brown or hear about Jezebel and her role in their oppression. Shit, they just want to look cute and get some numbers. I dig that. I've been there and still go there occasionally. But what I really want to say to them is that they're worth more than that.

When I was in my early 20's I worked on a video for Lil' Kim, "Crush on You", I was still just a Production Assistant (PA) and was therefore at the bottom of the production food chain. There were a lot of hip hop celebrities around cause Biggie was there and his album was dropping in 2 weeks. Luke had come with his entourage of ladies in sheer dresses with thongs on that beautiful 10 degree day in February. At some point in the 26 hour shoot day, I see a guy grab one of the dancers butt. He just walked up to her and grabbed it. I went up to her and asked if she knew him. She said "No, but he's one of Mase's boys". I didn't, then, know what a Mase was (nobody did- or would if Biggie had lived I think) and told her he didn't have the right to touch her like that. She just giggled, repeated the same line, and walked away with him. I was furious. I went in the corner and wrote some moody poem about pain and there being no art there.

As the girl PA, I was especially conscience of my own sexuality because of the sexual attention I garnered from the hip hop dudes whose videos paid my rent. God forbid I should show up in clothes that showed my hot young body, cause they'd try the same thing with me. I remember one rapper (who will remain anonymous because I can't remember who he was- one hit wonder I think) who couldn't understand why I wasn't lapping up his attentions. I was at work and so was he, I told him. His attention, though flattering, was inappropriate. The dancer girls called me a fool. He was rich (only he's not now, I'm sure) and why wouldn't I want to go out with a rapper? Cause he's stupid, and arrogant, and shallow, and not a very good rapper. They thought I was stupid.

But the most important thing was, I didn't like him and didn't have to like him just because he found me attractive. I'm not on the slave block. And it's not that I haven't fallen into the trap and tried to "learn to like someone" who liked me. But it's still a more intellectual exercise with an appropriate and seemingly compatible person than me humping the air so they can see how good a lay I am.

I just think more of myself. I think more of my mind than my body, because that's what I've EARNED. I thought I'd look like that forever too. But I don't now, I look better. You can tell I read too much when you talk to me and that weeds out the riff-raff interested more in my rack than my spin on Foucault. When I tell young girls that their minds are their greatest asset, they look at me like I just farted out of my mouth. So what do you do about Justin Timberlake sexually degrading interactions with black women? Let him not find any black women to sexually degrade... that should be a cinch right? Maybe we can get Michelle Obama to help.

I love RuPaul's Drag Race/ or I Hate Rebecca Glasscock

We began with 9 aspiring drag queens vying to be crowned America's next Drag Queen Superstar. Now if that wasn't enough inspiration to cream you jeans, then watching the show will solve that problem for you. It's delicious. It's all funnel cake with no calories good. The ladies are everything you want them to be. And if you'd forgotten that RuPaul is the reigning queen of everything, she makes sure your loyalty will never falter again.

Okay, I know that's a bit much about a show with a bunch of queens in dresses, but I'm in love. The whole thing makes me pump my arm and kick my feet up whenever Ru gives the qualities she's looking for in her Superstar. Those qualities are Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. She doesn't ever say the acronym, (it actually took a friend of mine to write it out in a column for me to get it- thanks Liz) but you get the picture.

The first few eliminations were easy enough. Get rid of the fat one and the REALLY weird one. But that left all beauties and tons of personality and brings me to my the heart of the matter. After Jade was cut and Rebecca Glasscock remained- I began to hate The Glasscock.

Rebecca Glasscock gives female realness and is beautiful, but doesn't have any personality or talent. I couldn't believe she made it past the talk show portion of the competition. She's a bore. I mean Shannel does talk A LOT and Nina Flowers' English does leave something to be desired, but they are gorgeous and their beauty has some character.

Not true for Glasscock. My friend Liz called Ongina a one trick pony. Well at least her trick was entertaining besides her being cute as a button and having the walk of life and making me bawl when she won the Viva Glam challenge. Rebecca couldn't finish because she was so emotional because her best friend has HIV. Well Ongina's been living with HIV for 2 years and ROCKED IT!!!!

So this week Shannel got booted (actually elected herself off) from the Illusions Lounge and The Glasscock's still there against Bebe Zahara Benet and Nina Flowers. Just choosing between those two is gonna be difficult enough but to throw that little thing into the competition is embarrassing. She's not gonna win.

When there was the ultimate drag ball, I was 14 years old watching Paris is Burning and screaming, kicking my legs up and yelling "EXTRAVAGANZA" like my balls were tucked in my anus. Nina's vogue was all the rage. I tried to do it with her and then my legs started burning and I realized that I'd gained back the 20 lbs. I'd lost in the last 2 years. BURNING, not like Paris, but like the overweight middle aged girl who still has the drag queen inside of her. (My quote since I was introduced to the grand goddess RuPaul, has been "if RuPaul is a man, then what am I?".) I've even taking to vogueing in my room again. Oh, Happy Gay Day!!! But enough about me.

To make Nina vogue against the Glasscock was clearly just an exercise to make me yell more at my TV and rage at the empty wine bottles on the table. Bebe and Shannel were better than the baby queen but they made Nina demolish her on the stage. Thanks Ru.

More importantly, the reason I don't like the Glasscock is because of America's Next Top Model. She's one of those girls. Catty, back stabbing, pretty with no personality and all about the "competition" while the other girls are family. They are mature, encouraging, understanding, and supportive of each other. When watching Under the Hood and seeing how Bebe was such the mama of the babies. She and Nina are the mom's of the show. They told Shannel what I need someone to tell me, what I need to hear every morning.

I love RuPaul and have even started vogueing again in my mirror before I go to bed. I've started playing Rock Band on the X-Box and I've taken "lip-sync for your life" to new levels.

But what I've really learned and hear in my head when I'm moving ahead in this journey is "and don't fuck it up".

This was supposed to be about RuPaul's Drag Race, but instead it's all STARRBOOTY

But then this most excellent piece of fluff found it's way to me and now... I'm hooked. I wish I was Cornisha (well, sort of? maybe? for like, a little while, but not too long cause... well...you'll see). I love STARRBOOTY.

RU ROCKS.

While writing I just had Starrbooty playing in the background and guffawed coffee onto my computer screen. Ru is the best at high camp, fierce drag without forgetting her black girl roots. Besides the fact that I need to get a t-shirt that says "if RuPaul is a man... then what am I?"

The cliff notes version is that Starrbooty's adopted niece, Cornisha, was kidnapped from Tuskegee Institute of Technology. Starbooty must go undercover as a prostitute to infiltrate the prostitution ring run by her arch nemesis make-up maven Annaka Manners (played by the beautiful Candis Cayne) who is selling the prostitutes body parts on the black market. Hi-jinks ensue. Starr finally confronts Annaka and learns that she and Cornisha staged the whole kidnapping together to get back at Starr. Then Starr reveals that Annaka is her sister ("You're my sister ka-bitch. KABOOM!) and Cornisha's mother. "My mother, my lover, my mother, my lover, my mother and my lover." Operating room, chase scene, my favorite line:

Annaka: Well then bring it.
Starr: It has been bringed.

A fight scene and the conclusion. (Because I really want you to watch it. Someone else has to have this kind of joy in their lives.)

All in all, I've got a whole soundtrack for the summer and a treat for when I look at my mutual funds and get a case of the postpartum depression (sans baby). I think it should get a Grammy, Oscar, Tony and NAACP award. But I'm also completely in love with Ru as STARRBOOTY.

Come On Heroes, You're Really Making Me Angry

I loved Heroes and now I'm totally going to break up with it. Instead of screaming angry messages into my little sister's phone I'm going to pick my bones with you.

What are you doing? You're not Lost. The writers and producers can't be so arrogant to think that just because they keep promising us answers, information or simply entertainment that we're just going to keep coming back. I never quit shows I've been watching for years now (except a few years of ER, but who didn't... but that's a different post), but I'm so not going to watch you anymore. I stuck around to see if you could pull off having John Glover, who I love, as Sylar's dad and give me some satisfaction, but you couldn't even do that.

I'm sick of meeting people with cool powers that I begin to care about and then they either just disappear or Sylar wacks them.

I'm sick of Claire, Nathan, & Peter and all their selfish, convoluted machinations. Is Nathan rebel? I don't know, and I don't care- because the whole storyline is stupid. Why would Nathan go through all this trouble? Is he trying to make all the heroes into his own private army by making them loyal to him for saving them- FROM HIM? If so, that's really lame.

What a sorry use of Zeljko Ivanek. I do believe I've seen everything he's ever been in, which means I watch a LOT of TV. (I had to pull out my driver's license to make sure he wasn't on it.) This weeks scene with him and Angela Petrelli eating oysters and talking to him about something that is of absolutely no importance to the storyline was another one of your your supreme time wasters. Oh, and you guys really know how to waste time. Let's see:

• Maya (my-JA) and Alejandro/ Sylar-the story line was too long, and I hated them.
• Micah and Monica Dawson- super cool powers (maybe the coolest) and then poof, they're gone.
• Adam Monroe- Don't even get me started on the whole 1600's Japan thing, but then when you bring him into the present, that's right, poof.
• The whole Arthur Petrilli thing left me limp. Another grand buildup just to get wacked by Sylar.
• Peter in Ireland? Why?
• All that webisode business. Maybe that's keeping you from focusing. I'm an adult who doesn't have time or inclination to watch like 5 different web volumes when they, too, have nothing to do with the "main storylines" if there is such a thing.
  

Oh, and I could go on. What's the point of all of this? I know you got boned by the writer's strike. I can dig that, but other popular shows moved on. Why can't you?

Mistresses

What a fun show. It's on BBCAmerica here and it's everything you want it to be. It's total trash TV, but reminds me of why I'd liked Sex in the City before it became a bobble headed fashion orgy. It was about friends who seemed to be real girlfriends. They talked to each other in the ways my friends talk to me. Only they're all really kinda screwed up and screwing all the wrong people (except maybe for Trudi, who's my hands down favorite).

You can learn about the ladies here and then I don't have to do all that typing.

Anyway, what I really love about the show is that they do everything I don't want them to do, but know they're going to do. The story lines are so easy to follow, it's like watching TV in the '80's. Only without the shoulder pads. You watch these women make the wrong choices and turn your head, but not the channel. It does have a lot of cringe worthy scenes like, Trudi coming down the stairs in a teddy and garters to seduce Richard when he's getting his garden chairs returned by his neighbor. Sam bringing Katie roses to work (where she's his doctor and their relationship is completely inappropriate, besides the fact that she was sleeping with his father before she helped euthanize him) and then kissing her in her office. Jessica almost throwing up in the mouth of the lesbian she's kissing to make her lesbian lover, Alex, jealous at Alex's wedding. Siobhan almost getting caught making out with her co-worker on the roof of their job.

Delicious. The second season begins soon and then I'll do a week to week (or so) rundown of the episodes. And although Wikipedia boned me on the spoiler tip, I still want to see what happens with Trudi's dead (?) husband's lover and kid. What's Siobhan gonna do about being pregnant with Dominic when her husband Hari has slow swimmer? Even though I knew Katie was gonna sleep with Sam, what's gonna happen now? And poor pretty Jessica, she's a bit of a mess right now isn't she?

More to come....